Coach Colin
Coach Colin
When I was at school, I did a lot of athletics: gymnastics, pole vault, diving, discus, table tennis, trampoline, basketball, as well as the usual football, cricket, and track. My PE teachers thought I would make a good PE teacher, and I didn’t disagree. They would be disappointed to learn that I became a bookish academic. What a waste of talent! Psychology, then philosophy, with no athletic component. I did become a teacher, however, so they weren’t completely wrong—a teacher of mental gymnastics (even mental pole vault). I didn’t give up my athletic leanings and even amplified them (tennis, water sports, knife throwing, etc.). But a curious inversion has taken place: I no longer teach philosophy but I do teach sports. I have become a PE teacher! My PE teachers would be proud (finally he made something of himself). I did teach sports once in a seminar on philosophy of sport, but now it’s all I teach. Not that I get paid or anything, but I do get a kick out of it—and if I may say so, I’m pretty good at it. Mainly it’s tennis, usually over at the Biltmore, but I’ve also taught paddle boarding, kayaking, skim boarding, knife throwing, windsurfing, trampoline, and table tennis. At least you can see results, unlike philosophy teaching. And it allows me to indulge my appetite for teaching—my PE teachers were right about that. I really enjoy teaching sports, but teaching philosophy was often an uphill battle. Would I have liked being a fulltime coach? Probably. I would also have liked being a fulltime musician, but that also fell by the wayside as a profession. I have also taught drums and guitar, which I enjoy (voice too). My teaching tendencies were devoted almost entirely to philosophy for all my adult life, but deep inside I am a PE teacher. I am a PE teacher manque. I could have been a contender! I could have been someone! Instead, I was just a philosophy bum, far from the athletic limelight. And isn’t the role of the beloved coach an enviable one? At last, in retirement, I find my true calling.[1]
[1] It does actually help being a philosopher, because I adopt a very analytic approach to teaching (and learning) sport. I recently made an exhaustive study of the table tennis serve, even inventing some new ones myself. Agility and coordination aren’t everything.
Don’t give up hope. Maybe there is PE equivalent of the John Locke Prize exam that you can sit for and win first place. If you did it in philosophy, then I dare say, with all due respect, you can do it in PE. You can come out of retirement and enjoy the remainder of your years as a world-renowned authority in PE, going on to completely upend the reigning orthodoxy concerning the theory and practice of the subject.
You know, you are not far from the truth. Whenever I get into a sport, I study it carefully and nearly always come up with novel ideas. For example, I have become convinced that the two-handed forehand in tennis should be more widely adopted (as the two-handed backhand was). I also think there are types of table tennis serve that have not been tried. I even have a system for learning drums and guitar.