Advice For Obituarists

Advice for Obituarists

I have reached that point in life at which a man starts to wonder about his obituaries, and whether there will even be any. In my case cancellation might go that far. It’s a nasty question. In a close counterfactual world, I would be perfectly sanguine, given my life history; but as things are in the actual world, they will likely be less than wholly positive. I really have only one piece of advice but it’s a big one: Try not to think in cliches and stereotypes. This is a piece of advice I frequently find myself giving about all sorts of matters, but in the present case it is particularly urgent. I know it’s hard, I know it will hurt your brain, I know it will make you unpopular (heaven forbid!)—but try to find out the truth, look at the details, then come to a reasonable assessment. It doesn’t sound like much but it’s surprising how difficult it is for people to follow this elementary advice (Americans seem to need more help with it than most). Surely you don’t want your obituary, as an obituarist, to be riddled with cliches and stereotypes about obituarists—how vengeful and ignorant they are, how little work they put into the job, how smug and small-minded they can be. It’s a tough job, obituary-writing: this is a whole life you are trying to sum up, to be fair about, to force into a nutshell. I doubt you will take my advice, because I will be dead and unable to reply to you. You can get away with murder. I appeal to your conscience—try to do what is right! Already you are sharpening your pen, hoping to make a name for yourself, busily insulting the still-warm corpse. I wish I could say otherwise, but there it is.