Happy 250th!

Happy 250^th!

And so, America reaches its two hundred and fiftieth birthday, a milestone event (as some wit remarked). As nations go, that is about the early teen years (England is about 80 now). It seems uncertain of itself, neither one thing nor the other, wondering who it is. It has a toddler for president, but he is a fat toddler, not some skinny unit. He moans and weeps all the time, and lashes out frantically; no one seems to like him much. His linguistic skills are still in the development stage (grammar is a work in progress). He is fond of shiny bangles and sleep-overs. He wears pajamas all the time (he calls them “suits”). Anyway, he is not a bad sort (or so they say), just a little primitive and simple-minded. His meltdowns must be forgiven, in view of his tender age. The rest of the country is in its tweener years—charming, really, if a little unruly. It doesn’t know what gang it belongs to. Not quite Mods and Rockers, but more like Jets and Sharks. Some wear funny (but cheap) hats, others go hatless. Some have never been to school; others have had a few years of elementary education. They like to get together and have shouting parties in which they talk loudly over each other. They are still working on their manners. Some talk pure vicious nonsense; others struggle to articulate their thoughts but mean well. They all have a strange tendency to go completely hysterical for no reason; this can result in actual homicide. It is hoped that this is a passing phase, some sort of hormonal foul-up, but pediatricians fear a genetic component. Anyway, it keeps everyone from getting bored. Oh yes, there is also an epidemic of loneliness, despair, drug addiction, and seething anger that leads to gun play (they still like to play, especially with guns); but it is hoped the pharmaceutical industry will soon find a cure. Who is in charge? Hard to say: it is supposed to be a democracy, but theorists suspect it is the toy industry (aka the media and the tech-military complex). Only fictions are believed. People hate each other with a passion, but preach love from dawn till dusk. So, it’s like any schoolyard or rumpus-room. In only a few years adolescence will set in and then things will really heat up (literally). In nation time, this will be a couple of hundred years from now and no one really knows what will happen. Maybe a sixteen-year-old America will be a more mature place, or maybe it will have a prolonged childhood. One thing is certain: there will be celebrations, good feelings, and much irrational self-confidence.