Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Predictably, a cult formed around her name—the “Amberists”. Their agenda? To root out evil wherever it was found. They were fanatically anti-evil, and Amber was their tool. They tried to imitate her: they would consume heaps of bad food and then go out to confront evil in all its forms. This never worked very well, because it was hard to get the food down to begin with and it would come up before the evil was confronted. Still, their heart was in the right place. Amberist demonstrations could be messy occasions, requiring a change of clothes and a large supply of air-freshener. But the cause was good and Amber was telegenic.

The members of the cult sought out samples of Amber’s effluent; there was a lively trade in counterfeit substances. Even a small amount of the precious liquid was deemed a great prize. It would be frozen and kept in special containers, to be gazed at, danced around, and otherwise worshipped. On Amber’s birthday, there was a giant celebration complete with theatrical recreations. A good time was had by all. This was a strictly non-violent cult, though scuffles were inevitable, sadly. Some people objected to being labelled morally bad. Lawsuits were filed. Amber herself kept her distance from the cult, leaving its day-to-day management to others. She was more of a reclusive figurehead. But her picture was everywhere, online and off. Money was made from Amber merch, but it all went to good causes, such as training camps for the soldiers of evil-detection. Nothing to be worried about.

All this attention led to questions. What did the girl herself have to tell her disciples? How did the religion of Amber relate to other religions? What was her message to humanity? They needed to know, to have it spelled out to them. But Amber had little to say: she felt that her stomach was more eloquent than her tongue. Her voice sounded tinny to her, but her gut spoke volumes. Films of her throwing up (churling, as it was called) were doted over. Sometimes she spoke of the Big and the Small. The world is big, but we are small. We must see the large, but not ignore the small. The small is good, and so is the large. That kind of thing. Then she would talk of the seeds. Inside everyone there was a seed. The seed could grow healthy or it could wither and die. We each had to care for the seeds of others (she included animals). Tiny as the seeds were, they were what really mattered. But then she would run out of things to say and lapse into silence. Some people questioned her religious convictions, which never failed to give her an upset stomach. The cult itself was mildly dyspeptic.